Self Restraint for Dragon Slayers
by LaxusPlayer
Summary: After Natsu and Gajeel mess up yet again on a quest, Laxus is sent to babysit them. However, can he restrain himself? Expect a couple of bro moments between the three of them and a whole lot of stupidity from Natsu.


Self Restraint for Dragon Slayers

_A/N: Winterorion requested I did a bro fic about Laxus, Gajeel and Natsu, and so here I am writing one. I was considering do a fic like this anyways, but the idea she suggested was way better than mine, so I hope I don't mess it up too badly. I also threw in an idea that jwagner778 gave me. I didn't think I could make a whole fic out of it so instead I just kind of used it as a running joke. Italics are for thoughts. Enjoy..._

"I...I can't believe I lost..." Laxus said, staring at Natsu in disbelief. "You...you won?!"

The two had been playing rock, paper, scissors for the last five minutes and Natsu had finally beaten him by using paper against rock.

"Yeah I finally beat Laxus!" Natsu punched the air while his opponent fell into a life crisis.

"I lost to an idiot..." he said, holding his head in his hands. "What does this make me?! Damn I must be dreaming. That's the only explanation."

Looking round, he spotted Mira at the bar. "Hey dream Mira; take off your clothes and come here!"

The bar maid blushed and Bickslow patted him on his back. "As much as we'd all like to see that I'm afraid you're not dreaming buddy. You actually lost."

"GAAAAAAHHHH!" he cried then ran out of the guild screaming.

"Jeez, I didn't know he was such a sore loser..." Bickslow said, shaking his head at his boss.

Gildarts laughed. "You should have seen me play Monopoly with him and Makarov when he was a kid. He almost started a world war every time one of us built a hotel." Looking up, he spotted a rather angry guild master storming out of his office. "Speak of the devil! I guess someone's in for a good beating."

"NATSU! GAJEEL! GET HERE NOW!" he bellowed, and the two dragon slayers slunk their way over to meet him. "And Freed." The rune mage stiffened, preparing himself for a punishment. "Go and get Laxus." He ran out to find his friend as Makarov turned to the other two.

"Have you two lost your minds!" Makarov yelled, holding up yet another complaint from a town against Gajeel and Natsu. "Thirty houses, twelve roads, sixteen corner shops, a castle and a river are all gone because of you. HOW THE FUCK DID YOU DESTROY A RIVER?!"

Gajeel just rolled his eyes. "He started it."

"I did not!" Natsu roared, "You said I had salmon in my hair!"

"I said salmon coloured hair you idiot!"

"Hey I'm not an idiot! You are!"

"No you're both idiots!" Makarov yelled, slapping them both on their heads. "Now listen up knuckle heads; this is the last shit I'm taking from you two. You hear me, if I hear another complaint about your behaviour I will put you under lock down for the next year. Do you understand?"

"Yes Master Makarov." they both grumbled. Freed returned, dragging a still emotionally distraught Laxus into the Guild Hall. Finding him wasn't very hard for Freed who had spent the past ten years stalking the taller man. Yeah, that's literally as creepy as it sounds.

"Ahh great you're here. Now listen to me Laxus and listen good. I want you to supervise these two on their next quest and make sure they don't fuck things up."

"...I lost to Nats-..."

"NOBODY CARES NOW GET UP AND START ACTING LIKE A MAN!"

This somewhat snapped him out of his daze, causing him to stand up and dust himself off. Despite being totally brain dead before, he still managed to pull off looking cool.

"Why the hell can't Gildarts or Erza do it?! Why do I have to be lumped in with these losers?"

"Because as your Guild Master I command you!" Makarov yelled, then cleared his throat as he realised that this approach wouldn't work on Laxus. "Gildarts is still tired from his last quest and Erza is busy fighting a dragon with Jellal..."

Laxus laughed. "Ohh I bet she's slaying a dragon..."

"...and so I need you to do it. The quest pays quite well too and these two have promised to give you 50% of the money from it."

Makarov gave them both a death glare before they could complain. The lightening mage simply rolled his eyes and nodded. "Fine."

Makarov smiled. "That's the spirit! Complete hatred for this task and the people doing it. Oh and bringing them back alive is optional."

"I figured." he grunted then dragged them both out by the collar. "Let's get this over with."

The guild laughed, knowing that they could finally relax without having to worry about another free for all happening.

"Hey wait a minute!" Elfman shouted, finally putting the pieces together., "Laxus; why the hell are you having dreams about my sister naked?!"

-After walking for the entire day-

"We'll rest up here for the night." Laxus said, throwing his stuff down on the ground.

The two other dragon slayers collapsed on the ground, finally getting a long needed break from walking. Before the trip they had both thought that they walked quickly, but nothing compared to Laxus' break neck pace. They even cooked and ate lunch while walking, which led to spilled soup, flared tempers and a short beating for the two of them.

"Ahhh I think my feet are broken!" Natsu moaned, slowly taking his backpack off. "What do we have to eat for supper?"

"Well I have a nice steak that Freed cooked me before I left." Laxus grinned, "But god knows what you guys are having."

"You bastard." Gajeel moaned, clutching his raw feet. Even his iron scales were worn down. "The hell did you even come on this quest for? You have tonnes of money."

"That's none of your concern." he casually replied, taking out and digging in to the well cooked meal that had been prepared for him. For all the shit he gave Freed, he actually appreciated his work. The guy was a damn good cook. "Stop slavering like a dog Natsu, this is mine."

Natsu whined and rolled onto his back. Suddenly, a lightening strike hit a nearby tree, causing it to set on fire. Delighted, he sprang up and started feasting on the flames.

"Here." he said, removing a huge iron ring from his bag and tossing it to Gajeel. "I put this in hoping that the walk might actually be a workout. It wasn't."

Gajeel caught the ring and dug in. "_Christ this must way at least a couple of hundred pounds! How the hell did he walk at such speed without even breaking a sweat?!_"

As the other two finished their meals, Laxus took a burning branch and set it in the middle of them. Surrounding it with stones, he made a small fire.

"Ahh great a camp fire!" Natsu yelled, finishing his meal. "Now we can roast marshmallows!"

Gajeel looked at the smouldering mess. "I'm not sure you were supposed to do that..."

"Suck it up metal head, I'm not on trial here." Laxus snorted, then pulled out a bag of jumbo marshmallows from his back pack.

"Gee hee hee! I never thought I'd say the day where Laxus Dreyar offered me a marshmallow!" Gajeel laughed.

Laxus just shrugged. "What can I say; bitches love roasting marshmallows with me."

They sat there talking and roasting marshmallows over the fire for a while, and eventually they got on to telling scary stories. Gajeel and Laxus felt like they were looking after their child brother, but Natsu was loving it and neither of them had the heart to stop.

"...and then I looked down and I'd been beaten by him!" Laxus finished his story then shuddered.

"That's not a ghost story, that's what happened earlier today." Gajeel remarked.

"Well it scared the shit out of me..."

"Hey Laxus?" Natsu asked, eating his twenty third marshmallow, "How come you're being so nice to us?"

The Thunder God looked at them. "I never actually said I hated you guys, just sometimes when you fight the tremors spill my beer."

"Ohh ok then." Natsu nodded, still working out exactly what he meant by that incredibly simple sentence. "Oh oh oh! Can we play truth or dare?!"

Gajeel rolled his eyes. "Fine. I dare you to go and eat those mushrooms over there."

"Nope that's not how you play it. You have to ask me truth or dare first."

"Fine, truth or dare?"

Natsu smiled excitedly. "Oh dare dare!"

"Ok, I dare you to go and eat those mushrooms over there."

The fire mage ran off and began scoffing down the mushrooms in that spot. "You should probably stop him Laxus. I think they're poisonous."

"I know." Laxus replied, not moving a muscle, "I just think he should figure this one out himself."

Eventually Natsu vomited them all back up, then slunk back over to where the others are. "They were poisonous you meanie!" He received a sarcastic round of applause. "Dicks...Ok Laxus its your turn now!"

The lightening magician rolled his eyes at how quickly Natsu forgave Gajeel then grinned. "Ok then. Gajeel, truth or dare?"

"Dare obviously." he snorted then sneered at the blonde. "Do you worst."

Laxus grinned. "Oh I intend to. I dare you kiss and make up with Natsu."

The pair exploded while he simply laughed at them.

"That's not fair!"

"Now now Gajeel, a dare is a dare!" he said, grinning like the Cheshire Cat, "Unless you'd prefer to do the forfeit...?"

"Yeah anything! I'd rather shove a melon up my ass than kiss him!"

"He he sure thing then. Your forfeit is you have to kiss Levi instead once we get back to Fairy Tail."

Gajeel went bright red while Natsu started laughing his arse off. "W-w-what the hell Laxus?!"

He gave the iron mage a knowing look. "Oh come on Gajeel, everyone knows that you two clearly have a thing going on."

"We are both just friends!" Gajeel roared, standing up and glaring at Laxus.

"Suuuuure!" Natsu laughed. "Man since Happy isn't here I better say it. She liiiiiiikes you hahaha!"

Gajeel hit his pink haired companion on his head. "The hell are you laughing at fire boy?! I've seen you and Lucy mooching around the town together!"

Natsu rubbed his head. If Laxus hadn't been there he wouldn't have wasted any time starting a fight, but as it was he would have preferred to go back to Magnolia alive rather than in several bin bags. "Hey man that's not cool! I like hanging around Lucy because she's a friend. I think..."

Noticing a sudden change in tone, Gajeel sat down and looked at the teen. "What do you mean by 'I think' Natsu?"

Natsu blushed. "Erm well I dunno really. I mean I love spending time with her, but there's something else there too. Whenever we hang out I get like a tickling felling in my chest and tummy which I don't get with anyone else. She's special I guess..."

Gajeel and Laxus looked at each other. "Holy crap Natsu has a crush!"

Natsu looked at them confused. "What's a crush?"

The others looked at each other again. "Oh hell no! I already helped Gramps out with his Sex Ed lessons so its your turn now."

"But that was your idea!" Gajeel argued, then sighed in defeat. "Arg fine! Natsu come round here." The fire-eater moved round and sat in front of Gajeel. "Natsu, what you're experiencing right now is called having a crush. It's when you really like one person more than anyone else and you feel really great when they are around."

"Ohhhh." Natsu nodded, slowly picking up on what he was being told. "So do you feel like that when you hang around with Levi?"

Laxus burst out laughing and Gajeel turned bright red. He would have hit the teen if he hadn't been so serious. Or so right.

"...yes Natsu, yes I guess you're right."

"Wahey!" Laxus cheered then slapped his companion on the back. "You finally had the balls to come out with it."

"Ah shut up Laxus!"

"He he so when's the wedding going to be?"

"Go fuck yourself Laxus!"

"Aha you're way to easy to wind up."

Natsu waited for them to finish, once again not getting what was going on. "So what do I do then?"

"Come on Natsu you can't be that stupid!" Noticing his blank expression not changing, Gajeel sighed. "Ask her out."

"You mean like on a quest because we go on those all the time?"

"No, on a date! Christ I'm sure you were dropped on your head as a kid!"

Laxus moved round and sat in between the two, putting his arms around both of them. "I guess I've done it again; getting the guys together with their girls. God I'm awesome!"

They sat there watching the fire fade for a few minutes until Natsu broke the silence.

"Hey Laxus?"

"What is it Natsu?"

"We never got to you in the game. Truth or Dare?"

Laxus smiled. "Truth."

"Why do you smile so much when Mira is around?"

"...time for bed you two." he replied before banging their heads together. They both fell to the ground unconscious and he stood up and stamped out the few remaining embers. Afterwards he lay down under a nearby tree and drifted off to sleep filled with a certain shape shifting model.

-A few X-rated dreams later-

Natsu and Gajeel awoke in the morning with huge headaches. Laxus was already up and ready to go, meaning that hell was going to freeze over before he waited for them to have breakfast.

"We could probably finish this and get back all in one day if we push it, so lets get going."

Grumbling, the two picked themselves up off the floor and dusted themselves off.

"The hell even is this job?" Gajeel asked, but was met with blank spaces. "Wait, so nobody knows what we're doing?"

"I assumed one of you knew." Laxus replied, glaring at them. "You do know right?"

As the Thunder God's aura rose, the others decided that perhaps it wouldn't be a good idea to piss him off. "Erm...oh yeah I remember. We get instructions in the town...or...something..."

Laxus' aura dropped, but he hit them any way because he could. The rest of the twenty minute walk was filled with complaints about the lack of food and the injuries. When they finally reached the centre of the town they were greeted by a rather flirty, middle aged Mayor.

"My my, when they told me they were sending Fairy Tail Wizards I was expecting some rug rats..." he strolled up to Laxus and stroked his chest, "...but I can work with this."

Being used to the Blue Pegasus Guild Master stroking him everywhere, he just stood there and took it, albeit while gritting his teeth. "Actually I'm just here to supervise. There's morons are here to help you."

The man looked at the two with slight disappointment. "Shame. There was a job that came to mind that I wanted to get right on."

"Ahem." Gajeel cleared his throat, awkwardness surrounding him more and more with every word. "So what's the job you wanted us to do?"

"Oh," the middle aged man said, turning to him and Natsu, "Nothing much. Just some cleaning for my house." He looked back to Laxus and winked. "I have some more...revealing outfits for you all to wear while you..."

"Put one on me and I'll put you in a grave."

"Ohhhh feisty!" He blushed and then started walking down the street. "This way boys."

The three stood there shooting him weird looks. "Well he seems friendly!" Natsu smiled and Gajeel had to clamp a hand over his mouth before he could continue. The walk to the house was silent and awkward, the two younger men nervously eyeing the older one.

"Well here we are!" the Mayor said, pointing to his enormous mansion. "I bought it with all the money I get from my job. There's a lot of perks you get being a mayor, and even more if you're a mayor's playboy."

"You have twenty seconds to tell them what to clean before I start blowing shit up." Laxus said and the man, oblivious to the volcano that was about to erupt next to him, blew him a kiss. He then handed over a list of things to do to the other two.

"Get these done by the end of the day and the money is yours. Good luck; I'll be watching..."

He skipped off into his house and the Fairy Tail members looked at the list. "This doesn't seem that bad actually. Oh well, better get to work."

-A few hours of 'hard' work later-

"...And that's it, we're done!" Natsu said, jumping up in the air in excitement. The 'work' they had done was mostly cleaning the mayor's cars, windows and organising his clothes in his various bedrooms. The weather that day was incredibly hot, but since Laxus knew the creepy older man was watching them he made sure they both kept their shirts on.

"Good, now lets get the money and get the hell out of here." He was so done with this day. "By the way congrats you two; you didn't blow anything up."

"Erm yeah...thanks..." Gajeel nervously replied. The real reason he and Natsu hadn't started another death match was because they were too busy keeping an eye on him. As the mayor's advances became increasing in intensity and frequency, they could tell that his self restraint was being put through a trail by fire. And not Natsu's surprisingly.

They walked down to the main entrance to find the middle-aged man in a pair of ridiculously tight jeans and a tank top that showed his bulging stomach.

"Well its a shame you have to leave, but a job's a job. Here you go."

He handed over a few small coins. The group stared at him.

"Hey, I thought the reward was 20 million Jewel? This is only 20..." Gajeel said, frequently glancing over to Laxus.

"Oh ho no!" the man laughed, "That was just a typo that got left on the sheet. Never mind ey boys? I guess it was reward enough getting to work here for me."

Because he obviously hadn't pissed off Laxus enough, the man walked right over to him and looked into his eyes. "Of course if you give me a kiss, I might give you a tip..."

As the room started disintegrating under Laxus' growing magic pressure, Gajeel and Natsu began running for the hills. "Natsu, we aren't going to be safe until we're at least ten miles away..."

As he turned back and saw Laxus starting to laugh manically, he gulped. "Better make it twenty just to be safe!"

-After the reckoning-

"Laxus you've fucked me over in the past, but I have to give it to you, this one really takes the cake..." Makarov shook his head, reading the damage report sent to him by the one remaining member of the town. "You literally destroyed a town. Just because one creep hit on you?"

"It had to be destroyed." Laxus said with a blank expression.

"But it was one guy! Why did that warrant the entire town to be raised to the ground?!"

"I had to make sure."

Makarov continued reading down the list of damages. "It seems you also left six other huge craters besides the hole where the mansion was. Why?"

Gajeel and Natsu shuddered as they remembered. "_FUCK YOU, AND FUCK YOU, AND FUCK YOU! OH AND FUCK THESE SIX HOUSES IN PARTICULAR!_"

"Laxus whatever happened there must have been very hard on you for you to lose it like you did," Makarov said, putting down the papers and rubbing his temples, "So I'll let this one side. You'll have to pay for the damages, but asides from that you're free to go."

Laxus stood up and walked out of the room grinning. "God I love therapy..."

"Now you two..." he turned and looked at the two quivering dragon slayers. "Well done for limiting the damage to just one town. He's done way worse in the past. Also well done on not destroying anything yourselves."

The two just nodded, eyes still wide and thinking back to what they saw.

"I think your biggest achievement however is making it out of there alive," the Guild Master continued, "I'd make some more threats about what I'll do to you if you destroy any more stuff on your quests, but honestly I think the trauma you've witnessed is punishment enough. You can leave now if you like."

The two stood up and walked out of the room trembling and with tears streaming down their faces.

"Yep," Makarov said, leaning back on his chair, "They're gonna need a lot of therapy to fix those problems." he chuckled. "Always knew I could count on you Laxus."

_A/N: I hope you all enjoyed this. I'm probably going to make Laxus become more friendly with the rest of the guild in my next few fics, especially the Thunder God Tribe, Natsu, Gajeel and Jellal. I know I said I wouldn't be updating as much lately but I figured I'd make it up to you people by not giving you a fic yesterday and so I powered through this as fast as I could. Anyways as always, read, review and recommend new ideas :)_


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